Matrix revisited

a couple of weeks after sending the mail in the previous post, I found Gopalakrishna's login open and tried to write a sequel. Ofcourse it was just as bad as the Matrix sequels :D

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Wed, 11 Feb 2004 01:46:23 +0530 (IST)
From: A.Gopalakrishna. gopalakrishna@
To: ug2@
Subject: Imp () continuation...


Just then i woke up!

I looked at the boy standing in the middle of the Library. He looked like he was sleeping.Yet he was standing! I wentnear him.I noticed that his feet were slightly above the ground! I looked around n found another girl in the library. She was busy reading something. i tried to wake this boy. He was bony but strong. I tried to move him around but he woudnt budge.

Just then i noticed a faint glow coming out of roof. The light grew stronger. Its colour changed to orange from yellow. The boy suddenly opened his eyes! He looked around ,then pointed at me n said, " Hey where is Trinity?" I couldnt understand what he was talking abt.
Just then the girl looked up n said " dont u listen to him. He is sleep-walking n talking, basically living a dream." I thought she was right. So once again i tried to shake him.But he caught
my hand ,looked me straight in the face n said,"Better tell me the truth or else u will have to pay " Then his under hand reached for my throat n held it in a vice like grip. I couldnt breathe. i noticed that his nails were growing larger...

I looked at the girl pleading for her to save me. But, She gave a wicked smile n said " Why did u disturb him,Now suffer the consewuances." I tried to call for help but could not find my voice. Just then there was a bright glow everywhere. The heavenly light blinded my eyes. At the same
time i felt the grip loosening n freed myself. I closed my eyes for a second n when i opened them again, everything was dark.

Then i heard a booming voice " Welcome, You are one of the few unfortunate persons to come to this place" U can curse ur luck Now that u r in the Matrix,let me clear up a few things for u. There is only one way out of here. This Matrix is not virtual. It is as real as anything else.

I asked " So why m i here?" The voice shouted" No questions, just listen"
He continued n went on n on n on n on on....

Finally i culdnt take it anymore n said" plz stop, spare me" Then i heard a female voice which said " No dont stop,This person interupted the divine thoughts of our Neo,He shud be punished"

I said " i was only trying to help,plz forgive me"
The voice said " I will let Sherlock, take over"

Then the lights came on n i found myself standing there on a big ground n i could find no one anywhere near me.

Just then i felt my pants being tugged n lokked down to find a Lilliput ther. Ther were 2 other similar species with him. The same voice continued(Though now i knew its origin) " Since u r so big, u may be useful to us, For that u need to join us"

But now i was gaining in confidence (looking at their size) n said" What if i dont join u ?",The voice said " U have no choice"

With that he flew up so that he at the same level as that of my face n then with a wink of his flew into my mouth n i swallowed him!

I tried to spit him out,throw up,cough him out, did various movements n bent many ways but couldnt not discard him from my system. Just then i coughed again n opened my eyes to see everyone around the table looking at me.

Now where was I?

Not in the matrix but in the mess. But then whats the difference. Both are not in our control??

Bad story i agree, but again something is better than nothing :)

CM Inc


Gopala (Go pale with fear)
CEO
Creative Mails Inc

Sherlock meets Harry Potter against the Matrix!

Ok folks, here's the next one. Our extinct friend, d0d0 aka mythalez, had some fun with Natraj's login:

Date: Sat, 24 Jan 2004 15:25:18 +0530 (IST)
From: Nataraj J-R.No.200201037 
To: ug2
Subject: Imp ()read quickly


Hi everybody!

      I wrote todays exam quite well umlike the rest of u. As a
relaxation i went to the library n started reading Sherlock Holmes. Soon
the library started emptying n finally i was alone with the guard n
another girl(guess who?). Soon i was lost in the novel,mayb i fell
asleep.But suddenly i woke up with a start n saw this man standing befor
me. He looked uncannily similar to Sherlock. Was i dreaming ? Soon the
girl started shouting.This man looked at me n motioned me to remain quiet.
But the guard outside didnt seem to listen to the shouts of the girl.
This Sherlock went near her n she fell silent. He motioned both of us to
one side of the hall.I obeyed since i was frightened n thought he had a
gun. We both were standing there quietly,That man removed his cell from
the pocket n made a call.The girl clung on to me n was shivering with
fright. The guard seemed to be asleep.

Suddenly the doors of the Lib opened n in walked Harry.(U know , that Wizard).
He took out his wand n pointing it towards Sherlock said something in an alien
tongue.
Sherlock shouted at him ,But i thought his face looked perturbed. Harry said
" wingardian leviosa" n the man flew up the ceiling n was stuck to it.

Then Harry turned to me n said "So Voldermot now how can u escape ?"
I was bewildered.The girl said to Harry "No he cannot be You-know-Who,he
saved me!".

Harry said"He was trying to trick u Hermione, Now move aside".

I said " i  am Natraj -THE ONE".

Harry said "Ofcourse u r one ,not two".
I said " I mean i m NEO . n this is Trinity".
Sherlock(near the ceiling) said "I m Morpheus,save me Neo".

Harry pointed at me n said "cruciatus" but i put out my palm n the spell
rebounded n hit Harry himself. Harry was writhing in pain. The girl
shouted at me for harming Harry.

I got angry n sent her into the MATRIX with the help of Sherlock's
cell-phone.

Finally the guard woke up.

Just then ........................

For the continuation keep checking ur mail...

I m telling u abt all this since my friends forced me to.
They didnt want the rest of our classmates miss out on such a wonderfull
true-life story.

CM inc

Creative Mails Inc.

Natraj
Managing Director(The only ONE).

Strange animal on IIIT's premises

Date: Mon, 1 Mar 2004 21:54:43 +0530 (IST)
From: Visram R -R.No.200201080
To: ug2
Subject: The Origin of Species

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn,
It may interest you to know that a new animal, previously unknown to man, has been captured in the Gachibowli area of Hyderabad. This unique creature rather resembles a squirrel, but scientists argue that it must be an ape as it walks on two legs and carries what resembles a tiny
schoolbag. Scientists are unable to explain this most interesting phenomenon as biological tests have conclusively proved that this new creature (named Visu *zzzzz* Ram latin name: Toongumoonjikus Kottavius) does not attend classes. From the information available, we have inferred that this creature had just woken up from an extended period of hibernation when it was captured by a security guard outside IIIT, Hyderabad.

Our scientists had to periodically pour water on the animal to keep it awake during the examination. After a few buckets were emptied on it, the cute little mammal seemed to become aware of its surrounding (finally!). It started a loud chattering that sounded rather like, "Assignment panniya". The animal will be taken to Vandalur Zoo, Chennai tomorrow. For the time it is being kept in a vacant room (no. 109, NBH) in the IIIT premises. I encourage you all to visit this adorable little creature before it is taken away from us. You never know, we may never see it awake again....

Luv n sweet dreams,
Sl33PW4lk3ER

PS: Any fan mail/letters for our little celebrity may be addressed to
_Hermione_RuLZ_@fanfiction.net

--
sleepwalking is the $PATH to /usr/local/enlightenment

Let's start this long overdue event

Rmstar and I were supposed to have done this a long time ago - more than 2 years ago, to be precise. But we being, what we are, typical IIIT products, lazy and inertia-prone did not do it till now. As a consequence, we lost out on a lot of good material. The material is the open-login mails that have been sent to ug2k2 during its four year stay at IIIT-hyderabad.

Anyway, being the bombastic authors of this blog, we start with a mail that was sent by Prashant aka Rmstar aka Thread aka paccha. I think it is a fine example of what an open-login mail should be = extremely hilarious and poking great fun at the attributes of the poor victim, who in this case is Visram, well-known for not being seen outside his room for weeks on end.